You might look at this photo and think oh what a nice family day. I see this photo and I see growth. I laugh still at myself. And I see lessons learned.
On this day the Jacinto family all took part in a charitable run to bring awareness to Aphasia, which is a condition my mother has. We were so excited to jog this 5k together along the gorgeous beach shore. If you know my hubby, you know how athletic he is and how much we both enjoy being outdoors. This was a no-brainer, family filled, fun day!
While the hubby and I were jogging and taking In the breathtaking view, I was thinking to myself, what a perfect day. Well, I was enjoying the view a bit too much and didn’t notice a huge crack in the pavement and went tumbling. I crashed into that pavement so hard it ripped my work out pants to shreds in the knee section, cut open my knee and both palms. Forgot the fact that I mortified lol! We’re in the middle of a 5k filled with hundreds if not thousands of participants. My husband had his head phones on and didn’t even notice I fell. In my mind, his marital telepathic skills should have sensed my trauma and alerted him to turn around and scoop me up like Prince Charming. I know, I’m laughing as I’m writing along with you. So as I’m hobbling over to a nearby park bench, im searching for him in the sea of runners. Surely he’ll pivot right back to me. The longer I’m waiting and rubbing my injuries, the angrier I’m becoming. My experience in relationships were unhealthy and at times selfish. I expected him to come save me. To come comfort and baby me. So when he finally noticed I wasn’t at his side, and circled his way back to me, the poor guy came back to a anger filled wife. He did his best to comfort me and encourage me to walk it off and keep going. He encouraged me to push through and allow us to finish this together. As a sweet and sensible adult should. We both grew up as athletes, so he fully anticipated me shaking off the fall and trucking on. But I was still sitting in bad habits. Selfish thoughts. I sincerely expected him to walk me back to our chairs and family waiting at the finish line and sit it out along with me. I was being selfish. And unreasonable. But I didn’t recognize this at the time.
I blew up at him. I accused him of ignoring my fall so he could keep going. I yelled at him for not coming to my aid sooner. I demanded he end the race along with me and nurse my wounds. Which he didn’t and he shouldn’t have been asked to. I was sensationalizing our partnership. I was expecting a fairly tale response to a real life situation.
Sometimes your past can get in the way of your future. Had I not gotten in my own way, I would have been given the opportunity for an amazingly rewarding day. Participating in a charitable cause for my mom. Spending a beautiful day outdoors with family. Realized how strong physically and mentally I was. Even bigger than that, I would have realized and appreciated what an encouraging and strong partner I had beside me. He saw the athlete in me. He knew how tough I was. He knew how much this day would have meant to the both of us. How we could have looked back on that day and said, “hey remember that 5k we ran in California with all of your family? Wow that was awesome”
Looking back at this photo In the present day, I am reminded just how much of a impact having the right partner by your side makes in your life’s journey. I am reminded To take inventory of how truly far we have come and grown together as a partnership. How far I have come as an individual. Now, years later, we have started businesses together, overcome childhood trauma together, become each other’s biggest hype men. Become great parents to our children and best friends to each other. All because we have learned to really trust each other. To honor each other. To finally put down the baggage of our past. Deciding to walk forward Into our future with empty luggage to fill with our own memories, our own experiences, our own life. Not someone else’s. Not our past. Not who we used to be. But giving room to become who we are meant to be when nurtured by the right people in our lives.
I’m not too proud to recant an experience that doesn’t put me in the best light if it can help someone else. If it can serve as a reminder for another couple. We all grow and learn from each other. Thats what life is all about. The best part is that we haven’t even scratched the surface of where we are going. We have a million more lessons to learn. A million more experiences to share. Thank you my husband for accepting all the flaws and shortcomings that come along with me. Thanks you for polishing me up like a cloudy diamond and helping my light shine through. Thank you for helping me grow every single day. Thank you for seeing the best in me even when I cannot.